Eclectic Escapades

If I were to describe the experience of going through job orientation, the first thing that comes to mind is pain. I don’t know if anyone is so incompetent to need to hear things 5 times and then play a games for 3 year olds which re explains it. But wow. I want to hurt people.

In life there are but few things like the assortment of glorious fellowship with friends and family. To take either for granted is to miss the life inside of each. Life’s experiences are in every relationship. Neglected relationships end up limiting Life’s experiences. And your life becomes unfulfilling and mundane. Extravagant living is living through relationships.

There is light that is so bright it’s as if your blind. There is ice that will burn you. One Characteristic I seem to enjoy more that anything is contradiction. That ever lasting bit of life that seems to defy everything that I have come to know and come to accept as “The Norm”. Right now I lie in bed fully clothed with a glass of cognac that hasn’t emptied any of it’s contents into my mouth yet. This is where I stand. I peer out into spaces within frames of captured memories and daily exhibitions into dreams that seem to grab my attention if only for a moment. Then whips me back into the reality of what surrounds me. If only I were able to write eloquent thoughts of the things that posses and occupy my thoughts I would do so. But alas to attempt to try and convey the mad ramblings of a man who constantly questions everything yet still finds that his beliefs are still intact if not stronger than whence he started. 

As a gentle liquid passes over my lips and begins to heat my stomach I think of all the passing times, especially in the last week, I have thought of myself in a state of forced imprisonment. Though clearly my actions and decisions have left me where I am now. I still dwell upon the fact that those I chose where I am, I never wanted it. Furthermore I looked upon it with mere dread only letting myself achieve this predicament by ways of “feeling” as if it were the right decision. And here I lay alone, as I have felt most this time, with my mind intact and my heart stronger than ever before.  I’m not here for anyone else. it seems that most my actions recently have been centered around myself and what I believe to be the most beneficial choice for myself. Now I look out on the future not wanting to chance that but to direct that in a manner as to which I am uncertain. I feel the urge and sense of drive that motivate small men into preforming large task. Only if I am no small man…. What is capable?